Archive for the ‘voice from the inside’ Category

Do Nothing

In obscuring truth, word after word we as conscious beings, remain bound to suffering by our concepts. Truth is not contained within the narrow constructs of language itself. Through a voice or pen and paper only a representation of what is actual can be manifested. Preoccupied by the reflection of reality, we allow life’s beauty to escape unobserved. We become distracted by the pointing finger and fail to see the radiance to which it points. In seeing we are made blind and in knowing our ignorance is secured.

Enlightenment is an ongoing process, not a final goal. There is no attainment to be sought, no levels of completion and no progress to be graded. There is no end to the journey. There is not even a path to be followed. There is only the realization of essential nature to be uncovered. What is called enlightenment is already present. It is our true nature. It is not “out there somewhere” . It is right here, right now and when realized, it is as a candle being lit, washing away the darkness. Enlightenment is effortless and displayed in this very moment. All that need be done is to do nothing.

What’s your “perfect world”?
LPW

Lost Dreams

As the waxing hours of the morning turn into sunlight upon a distant horizon, I am here– alone– in my bed area. It is silent and yet around me, they are breathing softly and as they sleep , they are dreaming. They are dreaming of freedom, a better place to exist, a place so many long for, a place that not a one of us are that close to. They are dreaming of home.

I once experienced such dreams, . Now when I close my eyes there is nothing. This other world– created by the mind– has all but vanished without hope of return. I sometimes wonder if this lack of mental escape is a sign, a prelude to the realization of madness that I am inevitably inching towards.

My questions are many and my answers are so very few. I watch, awaiting harmony up the path which I believe I freely willed from the beginning. Yet at every turn on this road , I find only chaos. I cannot say that life is all a mystery for there are many lessons that I have learned along the way. I have had a great number of teachers but none more prevalent than death.

I have taken life and as a result, I will never be the same. I was forever changed by the event of that night and for my actions I am indelibly carry this weight with me always– but you wouldn’t know it. for a man’s burden in life is not always displayed upon his face like paint on a canvas.

some of us have refined the spectacle of our personal torment so that what was once thunderous roar is now little more than a whisper which trembles aloft a summer night’s breeze. It shames us in silence and leaving us with tears of solitude streaming down our faces.

Our pain is our own and though it appears to be gone to the naked eye it lingers on– haunting us from the grave. Such is fate but I accept that fate and would not change a single day as it occurred if given the chance. If I did, I would lose the wisdom that those events produced and I have a strange feeling that I will need such knowledge for the future that lies ahead.

Jeheshua

What’s your “perfect world”?
LPW

A Species of Survival

With the thunderous clap of silence so abundantly about my station, my sollitude is clearly certain, I dwell alone here in this moment, my pencil pressed softly against this paper, quietly and single-handedly composing this essay. yet eventhough I abide without a soul’s company, this moment does not pass in absence of your presence.

A connection exists between us. Past, present, and future have all united as one. For I am engaged in writing now and in your mind now is when you are reading. Through this connected flux of conscious input and output our minds have stretched across time and space to become one. We are by no means a single living breathing organism but we are not all together unrelated.. One would not exist without the other.

Had I not written such a paper, you would not be reading it and without your eyes to read it and your mind to understand it , it might as well have not been written. Perhaps I have gone mad as well as a result of being locked within this cell for so many days. Or perhaps I undersand a fact which so often illudes humanity. We are a collective.

A relationship is composed of two sides normally, but the greater relationship of which I speak is that of the collective species. Each of us in our own way contributes to the collective. We exist today because of the contributions of the generations that came before us and as such we are a product of their conjoined ideals.

Our actions of body and speech will dictate the future direction of our species as a whole . OUr children, grandchildren and great grandchildrent will be a sum total of the complete levity of our actions and ideology. A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link .

Our lives “today” do not belong to us. They belong to our children “tomorrow”. They belong to the future. for that reason, we must prepare our children for that future. What we write, what we say, and how we live will all be remembered and built upon in the same way we look to our elders as examples for guidance. We are connected as aspecies. Not as different variations of such, discriminated by race, culture or geographic origin . There is only one race, the human race; one culture, human culture; one geographic origin, earth. We are one collective– with one goal, survival.

Jeheshua

Singing Sparrow

Inciting cries, disguised by shadows
Perched on high, by night, resides the sparrow
Disgraced with shame, he calls her name.
Setting hearts ablaze with flames of sorrow
Once wanted days of old now come to passing
Unearthed, so lies tomorrow.

Echoes of wind whisper softly
Words of love once thought exhausted,
But the mind resists this daunting gift
For guit and fear must still exist
His once precious desires fall like rain,
And, sadly, years from now he’ll feel the same.

What a waste
For loved and lost his heart’s displaced
Yet in a flash of light, once concealed
A glimmer of hope his mind reveals
A key within
And from that day on
No longer caged and filled with song,
He sings.

Jeheshua

Embracing Mortality

A fleeting glimpse of fading beauty holds timelessly withing my field of vision. My heart leaps and flutters upon witnessing perfection– even if it is only just this moment. Yet– even with this vigorous reflex of my heart and mind– I know the truth all too well. Such a thing is not meant to last.

In the beginning, we are all so new, so fresh and full of life, but somewhere along the way, time makes its’ claim and takes its’ toll and our youth slips away without warning. We turn to look behind and we find that all of a sudden the years which remain ahead are numbered shorter than those that came before today.

Our lives are not the same, not for the fact of time’s toll taken on the body, but because we ourselves have changed. Life has shifted its’ focus away from its’ outside appearances an the ever-changing looking-glass of mind has turned inward. For what reason I don’t know– maybe the mind finds the fleeting beauty of the world less appealing. Or maybe it senses each breath running shorter,each year propelling one toward the grave. Wisdom must bleed trhough if only to right the wrongs that foolish youth has created.

None of us can escape this fate. We are born, we suffer and in the end find death’s sweet embrace standing firmly up on the threshold between this world and the next. We have no choice when it comes to change. In a world where almost nothing is for certain it is the one thing that is inevitable.

No, we can’t control when, where or even how we die –apart from suicide- but we can choose to cross that bridge with a balanced mind. We can lay down our anger, desire and fear. In doing so we are not just beings of truth and purity, , we are truth and light for so many others that will soon make the same journey. Such is the way of all things. Embrace your mortality. Embrace your life.

Jeheshua.

What’s your “perfect world”?
LPW

Religion Is #3

We are complex. We are in a constant staet of evolution and we need to be patient with ourselves as well as with each other. Let us love one another and accept each other — not only for the good qualities but for all of our flaws. We have been divided for the sake of union and for far too long. Let’s all do our best to find our way back together. Isn’t that what true religion is all about? This is what I believe basically and it will evolve with each new experience. As I said before, I’m not truly sure where I am going, but I am confident I am making progress. I can’t tell you what to think but I hope that you will see this essay for what it is. It was meant to inspire you to find your truth. Your truth exists. It waits for you to seek it out in the only place it could possibly abide…. your heart ” Some will lead, and some will follow.” ” In the end, I hope and pray that we can all find a common ground to build upon a new and brighter world for our children” I hope that you enjoyed reading this passage as much as I enjoyed writing it. Good luck.

Jeheshua

We are judged, by others, in accordance with our acctions in this world. I have taken the lives of two women by drinking and driving. I know how this makes me look but there are things about me that no one knows. I have saved more than one life in my time on this planet as well. I once carried a pregnant woman having a seizure through a rain storm to a waiting ambulance four blocks away. I don’t think there was a reason for me doing this other than she needed my help. I did not know this woman or her husband. I once pulled a man from a burning vehicle that he had flipped over in a rainstorm. I didn’t think about my own safety. All I knew was that he needed my help. I did not know this man. When I was 17 years old, I saw an old man fall and hit his head. Ihe was bleeding terribly. While everyone else stood there and did nothing, I pulled off my shirt and stopped the bleeding. When the ambulence arrived, I disappeared. i did not know this man. All I knew was that he needed my help. In all three instances, I acted out of compassion. I did not stick around to receive thanks or a pat on the back. Knowing that I had done what I could was enough for me. These are some of the things that very few people know about me. yes, I have made mistakes in my life, one huge one in particular. I deserve to be judged by the whole of my existence in this place and that judgement should not come from your or anyone else. you are not worthy because we have all made mistakes. Trust me on this, I have judge myself more harshly than you or anyone else. In making this judgement, I have considered all the facts and I have decided I am forgiven. This one moment of ignorance does not define who I am. My ife is worth so much more than that and there is more more to live.

Jeheshua

Memories of days past, days when we were either too ignorant or too blind to see the blessing that would soon slip through our fingers. Days when we follishly squandered any hope for real and lasting happiness that we may have posessed. Days when we cared more for our own selfish concerns than that of the woman we loved. A Day of adolesence when I broke the heart of the only one who ever truly cared for me. O, how I long for the return of such days. Oh how I long to have a change to right those wrongs that I committed so many years ago., but that sadly and so completely is where such intentions will have to end.

Falling short of redemption seems to be what I am destined to amount to. yet my unfinished intent is not because of a lack of desire. It is beacause I am not worthy of your forgiveness and understanding. It is because my sense of remorse is only another mask- a mask that covers selfish concerns concealed deep withing. And no matter how well these concerns are disguised, even from my own eyes, they are still selfish. So as it is, such a dream of restoring your respect and love is far beyond reach. But one is still entitled to their dreams no matter how unreachable they may be. Until such a day of complete grace, I will remain trapped beneath the torpid waves of my aching heart, not breathing but asleep. not dead, but dreaming– dreaming of days past, dreaming of you.

Jeheshua

Together

Reflections of a search without beginning or end. Revolutions of the mind rolling forth endlessly without course or affirmation. Such is the so-called spiritual search. I fear this journey is only ventured to bring oneself to immortality and with such motives, all is lost.

We seek that which eludes our fleeting sight and we fear what we do not understand. As a result, we draw any shred of truth we may realize into the delusion of me and mine. We hope to grasp the whole of existence withing our fragile mortal grip, yet we can not even gain control over our own minds. How weak and ignorant we hvae become.

We are lost as individuals and so we are lost as a community. We stumble forward into this new millenium wiht not a single idea of where we are going. In these degenerate times, most of us refuse to claim any responsibility for our own lives, let alone our cities, states, country or governments. We care not for our planet and we care not for each other We care for only ourselves. We are asleep, trapped in a nightmare that is yesterday and tomorrow.

With this apparent decline of mankind, one hope remains. One last labored breath bleeds air into our lungs and life into our blood. That hope is “now”. Every individual has the potential to change themselves for the better. With this changing (or evolution) of yourself, you can shine new light into the darkness of the world around you. Our only hope is to do it together. Our only hope is “us”. it can be done. I have faith.

Jeheshua.

Without Fear

Holding steadfast, I am a captive frozen in reliance on the suffering of my life. After all without my sadness, anger and fear who would I be? What would be left to signify my difference to the rest of the sheep. I am not a passenger on this boat. Those days are gone.

I am the ferryman crossing the river Styx only to land upon the shore of perpetual torment and dispair. My futur is filled with the revival of that moment in consecutive order indefinitely. I have come too far to turn back now. I thirst but I cannot drink. I hunger but I dare not eat. The shadows have sustained me forever and a day and I long no more for the return of the light.

My place is here, huddled in teh cold damp darkness of purgatory, relieving those who can no longer bear the cross of fear and hatred alone. I do what I can to help because I have realized that I am no different than any one of them. We are all connected. Including those of you who have labeled us beyond redemption, judged us by the illusions of your own adverse conceptions and cast us into the fires of hell

Don’t worry. Your heeaven will be there to accept you despite the afflictions of morality that you keep hidden behind your Bible in your closet and under your bed. I have no contempt for your existence and I was not sent to judge you. Such a thing is beyond any man’s qualifications.

Your judgement will come in the end from the shocking realization of your own righteous lack of compassion and forgiveness for your fellow man. It will come from your failure to put others before yourself. It will spring forth from your own selfish heart, crushing your beneath it’s weight. I will weep for you i nthat hour, but I will not share your fate. For he who once fell has risen and each time I stumble, crashing back to the earth from whence I came, I will rise again stronger than before.

I push on with renewed dedication to my struggle for redmeption and for all that I have taken. I can only hope for a little more time to do some good in this world. I make the promise to greet the remaining seasons of this life without fear. After what I have endured I know that this is a promise I am fully capable of keeping. Can you say the same?

Jeheshua.